so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
