just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
