i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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