You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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