Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize