Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
