If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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