mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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