this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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