It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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