R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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