i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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