She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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