my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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