get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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