i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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