Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
