It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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