he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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