So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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