I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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