Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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