NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
why do cheetos always look like penises
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
