watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
