Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize