Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
