you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
