My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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