Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
