Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood and glitter go together right?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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