So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The air was thick with penises
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
