You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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