During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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