she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
