THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
