i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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