One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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