Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Plan B is the new Plan A
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We're too hungover to prance.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
