Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
