...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
