The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
