I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
