R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
