did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
