do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
