we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
