I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I AM VODKA MAN
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
