Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
