A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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