the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
What a dumb baby whore.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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