i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
