we're blogging at a bar
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
