TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The beer is more important than you right now.
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I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
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This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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