he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
