Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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