What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
