if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
