I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
