i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
