Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
