Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize