Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
