Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
