At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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