there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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