That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
