Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
